I’ve been firmly in the clutches of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) since mid-December. It’s been dark here about 18 hours a day. I go to work in the dark, I come home in the dark. Even when it’s light, it’s often a dark light that makes me feel like I’m living in von Trier’s Melancholia world. And it rains or drizzles a lot.
This is a frustrating condition because I’m completely content with my life. I’m not depressed, I just feel “off” and I’m not able to enjoy things as much as I’d like and my creativity has all but dried up. At least depression sometimes leads to great creativity, but SAD has lead to nothing but wasted time.
It gives me insomnia, which means I’m exhaused, so I drink too much coffee to make it through the day, and then I can’t sleep, and the cycle never stops. Once I’m asleep, I’d gladly sleep all day, but I won’t because I will not surrender to this.
I’ve tried as much as possible to live my life as I would if I wasn’t having this issue, but it’s a haze that I haven’t been able to completely escape. I’ve started light therapy and it seems to be helping. The past few days have almost felt “normal,” which is a huge relief.
Anyway, that’s where I’ve been all this time. Off, sitting in front of a lightbox in the happiest country in the world :)
But good things are coming… I’m going to Copenhagen on Saturday, I’ll be guest blogging at Unplugged Sunday in few weeks, and winter’s darkest days are behind us for now.
I’ll be back soon :)