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Should I wear white to my second wedding?

July 21, 2014 By Sage 14 Comments

Like many second-time brides, I’m wondering should I wear white to my second wedding?  According to modern etiquette, anything goes. But that doesn’t mean its an easy choice.

As a second time bride I can choose to wear pretty much anything! Doesn’t that just open up a whole world of wonderful possibilities?

Should I wear white to my second wedding?

Should I wear white to my second wedding?

I actually quite like the idea of non-traditional white or ivory dresses for encore brides.  But I personally think veils and long white wedding gowns look ridiculous on divorcées and older brides… in a mutton dressed as lamb sort of way.  It’s not good.

From the second Robert slipped Jackie onto my finger,  I knew I wouldn’t be going the traditional bridal route. I’ve done the white dress and veil and now I want to wear something that reflects my style and who I am as a woman, wife, and bride.

For about 10 seconds, I entertained the thought of a vintage tiara and a knee-length 50’s inspired a-line dress in ivory, but it was too bridal and seemed reserved for a demure type of bride that just doesn’t exist post-divorce and close to forty.

Taking inspiration from Gibraltar’s most famous bride and groom, I could go mod with a minidress and white boots or platform sandals.  The 60’s are my style muse and I can totally get onboard with this idea, but if I don’t pull it off 100%, it’ll end up looking like a costume and result in deep, lifelong wedding photo regret.  Ill conceived and poorly executed wedding themes are a modern tragedy… I won’t be cruel enough to post links, but take my word for it ;-)

Or I could go with an elegant, slightly slinky bombshell-inspired dress in white or ivory.  While I like the idea of a non-traditional white or ivory dress, I’m not sure I see myself wearing one.

My grandmother chose my first wedding dress… a cheap, scratchy meringue from David’s Bridal.  It smelled like fish, and the veil was decorated with rhinestones and faux pearls that photographed like bugs caught in a mosquito net!  I looked ridiculous.  I looked like me dressed up in a bride costume.  It’s been 14 years and still hate that dress!

Wedding gowns are a racket anyway.  The price-tag on that horrible David’s Bridal meringue wasn’t exactly cheap but it was definitely built not to last.  The stitching was sloppy and coming apart, the beading was substandard, and the fabric was embarrassingly third-rate.  For the same amount of money, I could’ve had my pick of designer dresses that looked amazing, felt amazing, and could’ve been worn time and time again.

This time, screw the wedding industry! I want a stunning designer dress that I’ll wear again and again because I love it so much that I cannot bear not to wear it again.

Here are my top choices for ivory and white wedding dresses for me as a second-time bride…

Should I wear white to my second wedding?

This one is from Alexander McQueen and it’s the most wedding-y of the bunch.  I can’t see myself re-wearing it, but it’s an Alexander McQueen and I can totally see myself wearing it in Gibraltar with my Christian Louboutins and a hand-tied bouquet of red roses to match those beautiful red soles!

Should I wear white to my second wedding?

This one is by the Italian label Fairly, which doesn’t have the pedigree I’d like, but there’s something about this one.  It looks like something Marilyn Monroe would’ve worn to one of her weddings… and that counts for something ;-)

 Should I wear white to my second wedding?
 Be still my beating heart!  It’s a Gucci…  need I say more?
Should I wear white to my second wedding?
This is a no-name dress that has that 60’s vibe I was talking about, but also a high possibility of regret…
Should I wear white to my second wedding?
This one is from a label called, “Snob Inside.” Apropos? I’d need to do something about those faux pearls,  like tear them off and burn them, but the hemline of this dress is very sexy and makes me want to dance the tango.  If only it came in red…
Should I wear white to my second wedding?

And finally, here’s an actual vintage 1960’s shift dress.  I love the idea of getting married in vintage, but trying to find a vintage dress in London over the course of one weekend is cutting it a bit too close for my taste.  Maybe I’ll be able to talk Robert into a vintage dress-vow renewal-handfasting after we’ve fled Denmark ;-)

Will I wear white to my second wedding?

No, I most likely won’t be wearing white to my second wedding. It just doesn’t represent who I am, how I see myself, and how I want to present myself on my wedding day. There are so many other colors and styles that appeal to me much more than a white bridal dress. When else will I have carte blanche to go out and buy any designer dress I want, guilt free?

But if you’re a second time bride who’s asking yourself, should I wear white to my second wedding?  And if you have your heart set on wearing white, why not go for it? It’s your day, your dress, your memories, and your photos. Do as you please and make no apologies.

Are you remarried or planning a second wedding? What did you wear? How did you answer the burning question, should I wear white to my second wedding?

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Filed Under: a doomed love story, wedding

Comments

  1. WILDSIDE says

    July 22, 2014 at 7:45 AM

    “in a mutton dressed as lamb sort of way”

    Oh, too funny!

    I really like the Gucci… Can I have a vote?

    You would be alarmed, but you weren’t there, so am telling myself, what would that matter?! My wedding dress cost a mere $15, wasn’t white, but lace & fun — good for the day & a stroll barefoot on the beach after the Justice of the Peace… My friends/witnesses surprised me flowers, lipstick & cake to match upon their arrival (because they feared as a plain Jane I wouldn’t be prepared with such — they were somewhat right, but then we treated them to a wedding dinner cruise after signing papers, so? We all loved the time on the boat so felt it better to spend our $ on that…). Honestly, I would have worn the dress again, but somebody stole it!

    OK, wee hours for me here… Chatty fingers up to no good.

    Reply
  2. ruthnyc15 says

    July 22, 2014 at 3:11 PM

    All great choicesbut I especially love the Alexander McQueen. I can see you rewearing it.

    Reply
  3. debbie says

    July 23, 2014 at 2:12 AM

    the gucci is you

    Reply
  4. chiara says

    July 23, 2014 at 8:34 AM

    Gucci forever… it’s so chic!

    Reply
  5. Anonymous says

    July 23, 2014 at 11:59 AM

    Given the other dresses you’ve posted over the years, I say the Gucci is completely you.

    Reply
  6. Emilie says

    July 24, 2014 at 6:23 PM

    2nd vote for the Alexander McQueen dress! Chic and elegant without being stuffy. Love that contrasting black bow.

    Reply
  7. debby emadian says

    July 24, 2014 at 6:31 PM

    what an exciting dilemma! I absolutely adore the Gucci, even before I saw the name. But the 60’s lace is so cute and so is the 60’s shift…Oh I’m glad that I don’t have to choose. I’m sure that whatever you decide you will make a beautiful blushing bride.
    Congratulations.
    debx
    ps I love that you call your ring ‘Eddie’ after grey doors.

    Reply
  8. WILDSIDE says

    July 25, 2014 at 2:19 PM

    Hmm… Back again (Sorry, I am spending too much time online without knowing where else to go!).

    This one — “This is a no-name dress that has that 60’s vibe I was talking about, but also a high possibility of regret…” —

    Minus sleeves and died a deep maroon, that was my wedding dress. Know I was suppose to wear white, but what the hey! Live life your own way. I have no regrets, but quite possibly because I had no photographer and someone stole that dress so I couldn’t wear it again (& again)! I still vote for the Gucci one if you can afford it.

    What I truly appreciated most with that $15 dress was that I had a fabulous getaway that I could treat my friends to and no debt to come back home to.

    One of the couples that served as our wedding witnesses had a fabulously serious & expensive East Coast wedding a month before (where hubby was best man & asked me along to be his date; quite a culture shock!). They are no longer married — even before their debt was paid off, divorce papers were signed, I think! Their photographer alone cost more than our entire wedding weekend adventure. However, they did serve as the impetus for us crazy unknowns to each other to tie the knot & get paper proof positive a month later…

    In this situation, second time around, I think you should do what your heart dictates in this case & you’ll wind up with no regrets. Plus… I won’t be there to steal your dress!

    Reply
  9. WILDSIDE says

    July 26, 2014 at 11:42 AM

    Suspense is a killer! Can you tell us soon which one you choose? Or is there some kind of wedding day protocol about that?!? (I’m wondering… do you already own these dresses? Or how else did you get the photos?)

    OK… Perhaps needed now a little time offline for me & give you some space to decide what you are doing!

    Reply
  10. Andrea says

    July 27, 2014 at 6:01 AM

    Best wishes to you and Robert! It’s such a treat to read all that you’ve been sharing.

    Now you’ve got me thinking enough to weigh in on the dress. The Gucci. That said, if you’re still exploring I think that Ralph Rucci holds possibilities for you. I keep wondering if you wear white dresses in “real” life though, for casual summer or special events? If not, your passion for another color (red family?), or white/ivory with another color as a graphic or design element, might bring as much or more joy and more opportunities to wear after your Gibraltar wedding. As you can tell, I’m not a traditional girl! Look forward to the final choice!

    Reply
    • Sage says

      July 28, 2014 at 11:59 AM

      Thanks, Andrea :)

      The color (or lack of) is really a sticking point for me. It would be a shame to have a beautiful Gucci dress hanging in the closet not being worn, but I can’t see myself ever choosing to wear it over one of my other dresses, unless I was attending a white-themed event.

      P.S. Ralph Rucci REALLY knows how to design a dress!

      Reply
    • Andrea says

      August 4, 2014 at 4:35 AM

      Sage, I couldn’t agree more – on all counts! While white dresses are a go-to for some women, I didn’t think that was “you,” so I hope you’ve moved past that point. Have fun, feel beautiful. Can’t wait to see what ultimately feels right to you!

      Reply
  11. Sage says

    July 28, 2014 at 11:44 AM

    Thanks, all for your lovely comments!

    I love the Alexander McQueen, but the Gucci is my favorite… my blog readers have excellent taste :)

    I’m still not sure if I see myself as a white bride, even an untraditional one, so stay tuned for my selection of red dresses…

    Reply
  12. Anonymous says

    July 30, 2014 at 1:31 PM

    Gucci, Gucci, Gucci.

    Reply

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