Last week, a Hare Krishna stopped me on the street. I love Hare Krishnas! They run my favorite vegetarian restaurant and sometimes, if I’m lucky, I’ll pass by a few of them chanting with a harmonium in the pedestrian street downtown. One of my most cherished flea market finds is a 70s vinyl record of the Hare Krishna mantra.
So I chatted for a bit with the Hare Krishna man before he asked what I was doing in Denmark. I told him that I’d come for work five years ago, but that I’d just left my job. I’d quit my six figure job!
Then he asked, ‘why did you leave your job?’
‘Because it was negative,’ I said. i quit my six figure job
Then in an East meets West moment, I told him I’d better be going because I was on my way to talk with my therapist about why I quit my six figure job.
On the long walk to and from seeing my therapist, I realized that ‘negative’ succinctly summed up the past year. Lots of great things had happened… I’d sold my apartment and moved in with Robert, we’d gotten married, started our life together, and traveled lots, but the stress of my work environment was always bubbling under the surface and weighing us down.
It’s been therapeutic, if not self indulgent to meet with a therapist for an hour every week on my former employer’s dime to talk ad nauseam about my work woes. But it doesn’t take a professional to figure out that my department, rife with management issues had become toxic, and it was ruining my life.
I Quit My Six Figure Job Because I Wasn’t Well
I’d had street cred and a six-figure income, but I wasn’t well. I was so sick that my doctor had put me on leave and referred me to a psychologist specializing in work-related stress. At my first appointment, she’d said, ‘you’re being harassed, you’re showing signs of PTSD, and you can’t go back to that environment.’
Not so long ago, it would’ve been a catastrophic diagnosis. I’d have had 3 months to up sticks and leave Denmark… it took over six months just to sell my apartment and merge addresses with Robert. Fortunately, I’d just gotten permanent residency, so deportation was not on the agenda.
At this level, stress is considered a serious illness in Denmark, and it’s possible to be out on sick leave for up to 120 days before an employer can fire you. My doctor wouldn’t sign me back in to work, so I had time to make peace with the situation before pulling the pin out of the hand grenade and chucking it smack dab into the middle of everything I thought I knew about my life and my identity. Denmark is renowned for its social safety net, but as a foreigner and as someone with considerable assets, I’m not entitled to any benefits. You’ve read that correctly… I’ve paid in several hundred thousand dollars over the past five years, and I get nothing. But at least I won’t get deported.
I’ve worked for the same employer for nearly a decade. I have a video game character named after me. I went from working on small B-list websites to being the Senior Managing Editor of the whole shebang; millions of people saw my work every month. I’d moved continents for this. My job was my identity, and when people found out what I did, I was the most interesting person in the room… even more interesting than Robert, whose book is coming out in Chinese later this year.
Letting go of all of that was hard on my ego.
Moving On After I Quit My Six Figure Job
The elephant in the room is the fact that I live in Denmark and my Danish sucks. How am I supposed to make a living when I can’t speak the language?
I’m a writer, I’ve always been a writer, and I’ll always be a writer. I went to an arts high school on a writing scholarship. I won a full scholarship to university and was the first freshman to win my campus’ literary competition. I’ve been a digital copywriter since the internet became a thing, and I’m fresh off a gig as Senior Managing Editor for the website of one of the most powerful brands in the world. So I’m going to make a living doing what I do best.
Last week, I met a friend and former colleague for lunch. Tucking into our Thai food, we talked about paying our dues and all we’ve been through these past years, and she said, ‘you know the best thing about being 40? You don’t have to take any crap.’ And she’s absolutely right.
I’ve given up a six-figure salary, which I was raised to think was the pinnacle of happiness and success. But I’ve also given up negativity, stress, and the sick feeling that’s lived relentlessly in the pit of my stomach every weekday for the past year.
I’m 40, I’m done taking crap, I’m taking control of my life, and I’m feeling better every day. I quit my six figure job, and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done.
P.S. If anyone out there is looking for a freelance copywriter or editor, I’m your woman ; -) You can get in touch with me via my Media page.
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Dorcas@feelgoodfoodblog says
Good for you! I applaud your gumption to leave a toxic part of your life behind and make way for a renewed and healthier start. I was in a similar situation in 2010 but thankfully THEY laid me off :) and it was one of the best experienced in my life! I was later hired at my dream job – one of the top business telecommunications software company in the world- in their global training department. A dream come true for me which was conceived in probably one of the most trying times of my life. Courage is the key. Wishing you good success in your new chapter. I know you’re gonna rock it!
Lori Lavender Luz says
I think it’s so cool that you’ve made the priorities you have. I, too, had to walk out of a toxic workplace once and I’ve never looked back.
Sage says
I’m sorry for anyone who has been in a similar situation. Now that I’ve walked away, I’m wondering what took me so long, but it’s hard to face the unknown.
grace says
bravo! i commend you for taking charge of your life (and health!), even if it means a drastic pay cut and a bit of a question mark as to what your future might hold. i know quite a few people who could benefit from reading this post!
Sage says
Thanks, Grace… feel free to send those people my way ; -)
I have every intention of being a success story. It’s a matter of stepping back, looking at things objectively and mapping out your next move. I still have waves of anxiety from time to time, but those times are becoming less and less frequent.
Barbara Paola says
I can’t tell you how much I admire you for doing this. I have no doubt you will be very successful at whatever you decide to do after this. Could freelance write? You are a wonderful writer!!! Good luck to you Sage!!
Sage says
Thanks Barbara : -) That’s exactly what I’m going to do… things look very promising!
Debra C says
It’s tough not to let our jobs shape our identities. Good for you! Money is important and necessary, but health and happiness mean more! Having just discovered your blog, I look forward to reading more…
Sage says
Thanks, Debra… I’m glad you found me and took the time to comment : -)
Rochkirstin Santos says
I think that it’s better to rest and relax to regain back the energy you once had when you were not sick. My mom is the same and she still does not want to give up her job. I keep telling her that her health is more important than working for more salary.
Sage says
Maybe you could encourage your mom to look at things from a different angle.
I went from thinking, ‘OMG, how am I ever going to recover from this?’ to being excited about the new possibilities. Once I got out of fight mode, I was able to see that not only did I ditch the 2 hour commute and sociopath boss, but I’ll make possibly even more money doing what I love, and on my terms. And if I don’t, well, at least I’m not wishing my life away. I had a good run.
SavvyMomNYC - Ker (@SavvyMomNYC) says
Wow! I did not know that in Denmark, stress is considered an illness. It seems like the US should think about that a little more. It seems like the changes you made are much better for your life. Health is wealth!
Sage says
I’ve written a lot about Denmark over the past 5 years, and this is one area where they get it completely right! I could not have asked for better support in getting through this.
Ruth Rosenthal says
Congratulations Sage. It rarely pays to stay at a job, no matter how great the salary, when it is making you ill. I look forward to reading more.
Sage says
Thanks, Ruth : -) There will be more posts on this topic as my new life takes shape.
Colleen says
My university often hires freelance writers and/or copywriters, and I could see your digital expertise being of great interest. Are you interested in opportunities from the U.S., or just Europe? (If US is an option, I think they’d need to have some idea of what 350kr is in USD!)
Sage says
That’s wonderful, thank you! I’ll send you an email : -)
helloredds says
You go, Girl!
Hope you will love following after your writing passion and find much fun, joy, and laughter in this new chapter of your life!
There is nothing quite like kicking unneeded and unwanted stress out of your life!
Came over on Totally Terrific today, and I’m glad to find your site.
Look forward to connecting again~
Hope you have a blessed day,
Melanie
Sage says
Hi Melanie, Thanks for letting me know you visited… glad you found me, hope to see you again :)
Sara-Jayne says
Good for you! How amazing, and what courage you have. Also, kudos to Denmark for actually realising how damaging stress is to a human. It’s seen as a weakness in the Uk and so many people are just getting sicker and sicker from it. I understand how you must have felt, letting everything go – but negativity is never a good thing and I’m glad you are free.
Sage says
Thanks, Sara-Jayne :)
Overall, I’m not Denmark’s biggest fan, but kudos where due, this is one area where they absolutely get it right. Having been through it, I believe that at point, stress is an illness and should be treated as one. Hopefully other countries will catch on.
sizzlesue15 says
Congratulations for having the courage to do what most people want to do but can’t. It is scary but I’m sure you will feel better without all the stress and negativity. Thanks for sharing your post with us at #AnythingGoes and hopefully you might inspire others to look at their lives.
Sage says
Thank you, Sue… I’m feeling better every day. I didn’t realize how bad a state I was in until I’d let it go. I’m so grateful that I had the support I needed to make this life changing choice.
shadylane85 says
It takes a whole lot of courage to leave a safety net like you had, especially when your identity is so closely intertwined with work, as often happens when you’re successful. I think you’ve shown a lot of courage, putting your health above money. I wish you lots of luck, and hope this new chapter finds you success and happiness together!
Sage says
Thank you! I had a good run and being out of it is a welcome relief. Once I removed my ego from my decision making process, there was only one possible choice. Looking back, I’m astonished I managed for so long.
tammileetips says
The best thing for me is when I was laid off from my corporate job!!! I wish you the best of luck, getting out of that negative environment will make your life so much better! Hopefully you can find new work that makes you happy!
Sage says
Sometimes it’s good to have something force your hand a bit. Not having to deal with the whims of a sociopath five days a week has been liberating! If not for a health crisis, I’d have kept going.
What's On The List (@mickeydownunder) says
Well done and what a heartfelt blog post today! In the end, one gets to the point in their life where money is not everything! I think health is also my wealth and without health, one has nothing! So money is not a factor in being happy for me!
Sage says
Thank you! It’s not really a factor for me, either. I’ve always lived well below my means, and have saved for a rainy day, so I’m fortunate that my lifestyle won’t change. I’d just gotten into a mindset that I wasn’t going to let it beat me… it wasn’t about money, it was about endurance. I’m so glad I got out before it was too late. All of that planning and saving is worth nothing if I’m too sick to enjoy it.
Ourfamilyworld says
Good for you. You don’t need a six figure job if you are not happy and you got sick because of the pressure. Health is wealth and money is not the only measure to be happy. I say NO to negativity!
Rae says
I’m in a similiar situation. I have an exit strategy and can’t wait until my self imposed deadline is here and I can walk away knowing that I made the right choice and have my husband and I set up with a good future. A six figure income is nice, but it doesn’t mean you’re happy or satisfied with where you are in life professionally. Congratulations on your freedom!
Rae | insolenceandwine.com
Sage says
Good for you, Rae for having a plan! Best of luck in getting through this next bit, and best wishes for your future, build a life you love : -)
Vaneese says
This is so awesome and inspiring. I left a job that was physically making me sick a little over a year ago. While I’m happy that I made that decision for health reason (i.e. maintaining my sanity), I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve, in some way, retarded my career and now I’m in this weird evaluation mode, trying to figure out what to do next. I admire your courage because, while work is important, our lives and wellbeing are most important. Sadly, very few people believe that.
Sage says
I hear you Vaneese! I’d like to tell you I’m all kinds of Zen calm about it, but even though I know I did what I had to do, there are still times where I freak out and think, ‘what the hell have I done?’ I know things will work out as they’re meant to, for both of us. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been in a similar situation.
Erin says
I’m so glad you’ve left that environment. I worked in a toxic environment for almost 4 years and while I was never “sick”, I lost almost 30lbs, I was working 65 hours a week and I always had a very short fuse. It took almost a year after I quit to get to where I wasn’t in a constant state of stress and anxiety. I made a lot of money and that was part of why I didn’t quit, but when my boyfriend asked me to move to Malaysia with him I knew it was time. Three years later and I finally feel like I’m back to my old self and am happy again. I’m as broke as can be, but I finally went back to school and got a degree and life feels good again. It’s amazing how much affect a bad work environment can have on a person. Good for you and I hope your life continues onward and upward.
Sage says
Erin, you were not well and I recognize a lot of myself in what you wrote. I’m sorry to read that you’ve been through it too, and I’m happy you got out and are finally feeling happy and more like yourself : -)
Best wishes for your future!
marysmarbles says
I am so glad that even after all of the negativity you have had this year, you are truly finding out what you want out of your life. Letting go can be hard but once you do you will not have to feel that burden on your shoulders. You will be a much happier person, on the inside and out.
sizzlesue15 says
Hi Sage, Congratulations on this post which was in my top two favourite picks in this week’s #AnythingGoes linkup. Thanks again for sharing and hope to see you at the next link up.
Sage says
Wow! That’s awesome, thank you :-)
Alice Megan says
Wow what a ballsy move! I’m glad it’s working out wonderfully for you and you’re feeling much better for it
Sage says
For sure! It’s definitely one of the bravest things I’ve ever done outside of moving to Europe with my cat : -)
SingleMotherAhoy says
Brilliant post. So many people are trapped in jobs they hate, earning money to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like. Huge sections of society are trapped on this merry go round, feeling like they have to do it, they can’t afford not to do it. When you step off, you realise you never needed any of it any way.
Thanks for joining in with the weekend blog hop.
Sage says
Thank you… I always knew that living below my means would pay off, but I had no idea how important it would be. I’m so glad I ‘bought’ freedom instead of stuff all of these years.
Natalie @ Obsessive Cooking Disorder says
Very bold but wishing you the best! I come from a field where burnout is notorious (and doctor suicide is unfortunately so common because of our insane stress levels/80 hr work weeks) so I’m glad you take care of your self as a priority. 120 days off in the US for stress/mental health is definitely not a thing here – Denmark seems to take good care of its people. Keep us posted!
Sage says
Thank you! I’m definitely glad it happened on the DK leg of my career instead of the US leg. However given the same set of circumstances in the US, I would’ve likely gotten a lucrative settlement. But I’m just happy to be out and moving on : -)
Sarah-Jane says
Well done you.
I was in a job i hated that kept me away from my son and eventually gave me a nervous break down. I was “Let go” after my GP signed me off as the “couldn’t support my sick leave”. Money isn’t everything and absolutely nothing is worth damaging your health and well being.
Glad your alot better now xxx
#justanotherlinky
Sage says
Thank you, Sarah Jane. I’m sorry to hear of your situation, and that you didn’t have a supportive GP. Being American, I was completely new to socialized healthcare and the GP in my first town was just horrible! I thought they were all like that until I moved to a bigger city and now I’ve got an awesome GP, I’ll be sorry to give him up when I move to England.
I hope you are doing better now.
xo
Kirsten Toyne says
That is great to hear. We wont get to the end of our lives and wish we had worked more or earned more. How we feel in life is life itself. Valuing ourselves is so important which is why I am part way through a weekly series of posts of self worth. You are valuing yourself by moving on. Good to hear!
Sage says
Thanks, Kirsten! I was stuck for too long in trying to make it work, feeling like I’d worked so hard to get where I was and not wanting to let go, but when I finally asked myself, ‘at what cost?’ I knew it was so much like an abusive relationship that the only thing to do was to move on. I am worth so much more than what I’ve dealt with this past year… no money or title is worth that. And since walking away, I don’t miss either one.
rika says
I think you made a right decision! Being healthy is the most important .I had a full time job 4 years ago, i spent too many hours. I made pretty good money but I wasn’t happy and only slept 3 hours per night. Being happy is very important too. I am a stay at home mom now, not making a huge amount of income but i am okay with it..
Sheila says
Sage, what an inspiring read! I’m happy you did what was right for you. I’ve long admired how you always keep moving forward and I know you’ll be better for this decision.
I completely agree with you about the importance of keeping a safety net and living below your means. I saved as much as I could in my first few jobs that I hated when I was tempted to blow through my paychecks since I was so unhappy, but I was so glad I didn’t when I was laid off since I had options that I wouldn’t have had if I was scrambling to get another paycheck. I look forward to reading about the rest of your journey! :)
Sage says
Thanks, Sheila : -)
Ritu says
I’ve been in the exact same situation before! I’d moved from US to London at the age of 27. Made nearly 6 figures (when you convert the salary into dollars from pounds), travelled like it was my job! Did my job like it was my hobby. It all seemed good but you are so right. A six figure salary is not the pinnacle of happiness. I guess I had to learn the hard way. A lot of women have this notion that you’ve made it in life if your salary is six figures. But I’m happy to see a lot of us waking up to the reality that it’s not.
It’s interesting you mentioned Hare Krishna! Have you been to a kirtan by them yet? They will rock your world! So fun. x Ritu
Sage says
I think a lot of us are fed the six-figure salary as benchmark of success line growing up. Some people still think I’m crazy for giving it up, but if I’m unhappy and it’s making me sick, what am I really giving up? My life has improved so much since I let it go!
I haven’t been to a kirtan, but now it’s on my list! We’ll be in London this coming week and I’m very much looking forward to dinner at Govinda’s, maybe we can pop next door and join a kirtan :)