So, this happened.
Image by AOL
Robert got up at 4 am “EU time” as he calls it now that his country has voted to leave the Union. I periodically checked the results on my phone as I restlessly drifted in and out of sleep. Around 7:00, Robert brought me a cup of tea and somberly announced that Britain voted to leave the EU.
We’d gone to bed with the right to live and work in 28 countries, and woke up essentially seeing that reduced to two. Last weekend was complete panic trying to figure out what happens to expats after Brexit.
Being born into the EU and living on the Continent for so many years, Robert considers himself European. But it doesn’t matter that he speaks four languages and has lived here for over twenty years. As of last Friday, in the post-Brexit EU, he holds the passport of a lonely island.
Robert and I met because of the EU. We were able to pursue our relationship because of the EU.
If the UK hadn’t been part of the EU, Robert would have moved back to England after a semester abroad in the late 90s and our paths wouldn’t have crossed. But it was, so Robert studied in Denmark, got a PhD, stayed as a tenured professor, and built a life here. He’s lived in Denmark for more years than he lived in England, which forfeits his right to vote in the UK. Nevermind that he’s built his entire life on his status as an EU citizen.
Moving the center of his life from one EU country to another gave Robert the right to have me (his non-EU spouse) with him, no questions asked. It was easier for me to get permanent residency in Denmark as the wife of a UK citizen than it would’ve been as the wife of a Danish citizen. Denmark is also part of the EU, but their citizens have their own strict set of family reunification regulations. I wrote about this in depth last year when I became a permanent resident.
As we’ve been told so many times before, we’re not immigrants, we’re expats. Being white with a PhD or being white and American excludes you from being an immigrant. Even if you have no intention of returning to your home country.
Or does it? What happens to expats after Brexit?
Hate crimes in the UK have risen 500% since the vote. Other Americans in social media expat groups I belong to are reporting anti-immigrant incidents towards Americans. Somehow this referendum has given people carte blanche to let their bigoted freak flags fly…
Last night I had a nightmare that someone slit my throat because, “we voted to leave and that means you.”
What happens to expats after Brexit?
We’re of course short on specifics, but very concerned about what happens to expats after Brexit in the post-referendum EU. Fortunately, as far as we’re told, Denmark can’t revoke our permanent residence permits. But our longterm plans are a mess.
Moving to England is now completely out of the question. Last year, when Robert was an EU citizen and we were trying to move to England, immigration was the least of our worries. There was an easy spouse of an EU citizen route back into the country. Now England can do whatever they want, and since anti-immigration rhetoric is pretty much what got us into this mess of leaving the EU, we expect to see the UK enact family reunification regulations similar to Denmark’s. Immigrant or expat, legally, we’re all the same.
Of course, why would we even want to move to a racist, isolated, and divided country that’s revealed its true colors? The town we were going to move to voted 75% in favor of leaving. If we’d moved, I’d have been a pariah. A pariah living in one of the town’s prettiest houses, but still an undesirable.
This makes me so sad because I’ve always had such a high opinion of England. I thought I’d feel welcome and at home there, so much more so than in Denmark. The more I live with Robert and spend time with his family, and the more we visit England, the more I thought that I’d be happier in England than anywhere else in the world. And I don’t think that’s true anymore.
And while we’ve decided to stay in Denmark for the foreseeable future, we never planned to be lifers. We’d talked about moving to another city, maybe Prague or Berlin, or retiring on the shores of Lake Como, but now moving countries isn’t just a matter of a little paperwork. Now there will be language and income requirements, points systems, government deposits, etc.
We’re most likely going to lose our EU health coverage and will have to take travel insurance when we go abroad. With epilepsy and severe asthma, we can’t be too careful.
While Denmark is notoriously xenophobic and hard on immigration, Aarhus is an international city and I’ve never felt unwelcome in Aarhus. I feel foreign of course, but never unwelcome. In over two years of living in this city, I can’t recall a single negative experience.
Denmark recently started allowing dual citizenship, so that option is on the table for Robert, but it’s not our first choice. Before we go down that path, we need to be 100% certain that it will not affect my immigration status. Then there’s the ethical dilemma of getting a citizenship just to keep EU status.
So, what happens to expats after Brexit? It’s anyone’s guess, really. Robert and I lucked out meeting, marrying, and settling in Denmark when we did. I wouldn’t want to be in Europe as a non-EU spouse married to a Brit without permanent residency these days.
But it’s not over, yet.
We’re watching and hoping they’ll put it to another vote. Yes, selfishly because we want to stay in the EU. But also because we believe the media and politicians acted irresponsibly in the run up to the referendum.
Nigel Farage admits lying and that hundreds of millions of Pounds were never going to be redirected from the EU to the NHS as promised, not to mention a host of other lies that were told leading up to voting day.
The Daily Mail, the Sun, and other rags of similar ilk all promoted the Leave campaign.
Now that the vote is over, and they’ve finally reported the actual implications on people’s bank accounts, pensions, and holidays, people are understandably angry. But it’s kind of their own fault. This is why I get my news from more than one source.
The referendum results aren’t binding, and article 50 is yet to be invoked. In light of the slim margin, the lies, and the fact that Scotland and Northern Ireland voted overwhelmingly to stay, we’re hoping that in the end this won’t be any more than a cautionary tale. While the UK voted to leave with a slim 3.8% margin, half of its countries voted to remain, and an untold number of citizen expats weren’t even allowed to vote. That’s gotta count for something.
For now though, I’m sort of enjoying not being a citizen of the world’s most embarrassing country. I just hope I can still say that in November.
Bites for Foodies says
I can’t believe how close the vote was! I feel directly affected by this even though I live in Canada. Mainly because I visit Europe every summer and have lived in many countries in Europe!
Sage says
I really thought it would go the other way, what a nasty surprise that was! It’s a horrible time to be an non-EU expat attached to a Brit living in the EU.
Jen says
It’s a very uncertain time to be a Brit living in the EU or an EU citizen (or spouse) living in the UK. I’m married to a Dane and we moved over to England nearly 2 years ago for my husband’s job. Neither of us have PR, so we’re just watching and waiting. Not much else we can do I suppose. Our futures were decided without any say from any of us.
Sage says
Oh, Jen! There sure is a lot of watching and waiting these days, isn’t there? You have my sympathies :(
Kitty Kat Love says
This is the first time I have ever disagreed with an article at this site.
Globalisation has devastated the working classes and middle classes in the U.S. and, increasingly, in Europe.
To people not as fortunate as you and Robert (and no disrespect to you – you have worked hard for your money) the economic future under the EU has been looking very bleak. In my own country, formerly quite impoverished, the EU has brought prosperity. Many here have become wealthy and can now afford things like luxury cars, designer clothes, shopping trips to New York, beautiful furniture, and foreign holiday homes, yet homelessness has skyrocketed here, as has the rate of suicide and violent crime. The bonds of community which once sustained my country are in tatters.
Here, as in many parts of the UK, it has become next to impossible for young people to buy even a starter home unless they receive money from their parents, or obtain a very high-paying job. When I think about tent cities in the U.S. and homelessness in my own city, it puts a real damper on any joy I might otherwise get from shopping for and owning beautiful designer goods, lovely art and handcrafts, or restoring a house with period features. Yes, beautiful things are a wonder to hold, look at, and touch, but we are called to something higher than a life focused on material comfort and aesthetic pleasure, where we care also about the needs of those less fortunate who are struggling, and where the actions we take in our lives directly reflect this care, even when it involves sacrifice. I don’t know about Aarhus, but in my city, these struggling people are all around me and their numbers are growing. In the U.S., where there is no cradle-to-grave welfare state, things are much worse. Thankfully a presidential candidate (Donald J. Trump) is finally talking about the devastating effects of NAFTA and outsourcing on the American middle classes (including the working classes and lower middle-classes), and putting forth a plan to bring back jobs, not only to middle class America, but also to the inner cities that have been devastated in recent decades by the loss of manufacturing jobs.
Research will reveal that people far more intelligent than either you or I supported BREXIT. None of these principled, intelligent people could be classed as either uninformed or “racist” by any reasonable definition of the term. Although I could name many, I will name only one today – Milo Yiannopolous. And “BREXIT – the Movie” (free on Youtube) is also quite instructive in this regard.
BREXIT will complicate my life and future hugely too, possibly even more than yours and Robert’s, and not for the better, but I understand why it succeeded, and am happy that it did. If I had had a vote I would have supported it even though I had nothing to gain from BREXIT personally, and in fact have much to lose.
Would you be complaining if BREXIT had lost by a small margin? I doubt it. If the UK as member of the EU had been looking after ordinary, non-affluent working people instead of the affluent, BREXIT would never have even gone to a vote. I hope the result is a wake-up call for the political class which seems intent on eradicating the middle class and replacing it with a world filled with only the very wealthy and very poor. I want no part of such a world (and lest you think I am sour grapes, I speak as someone who, like you, is middle-class and has worked for what I have). In fact, I hope I live to see the breakup of the EU.
No need to reply to this – I am not interested in dialoguing or debating. Ergo, I won’t be offended in the least if you delete this. I’ve always enjoyed your blog, and I wish you Robert the best.
Sage says
I don’t see a need to delete respectful, well thought-out comments that share a viewpoint opposite to mine. Nor do I see a need to debate, so let’s agree to disagree.
The only thing I take issue with in your comment is the part where you said I’m “complaining.” The point of this post wasn’t to complain, but to share another part of the expat experience, which in this past week happens to be Brexit and how it will affect Robert and I, and our future plans.
Thank you for sharing a different view on this polarizing topic, and I hope you will continue to read and enjoy my blog : -)
Kitty Kat Love says
Thanks for your reply Sage and for letting me voice my views on this.
I will continue to enjoy your thought-provoking blog – of the many I subscribe to, it’s one of the few where I actually read every single article!
chefjoe11 says
Wow, thank you for breaking this down and explaining it so clearly. Your personal experience also helps me to understand. I really appreciate hearing your point of view and how it affects your life.
Melissa Jackson says
As British born citizen living in the US, I am deeply saddened by what’s going in in the UK. I hate to say it but the message of BREXIT is completely lost on me because of all of the racism and hate being spread in the midst of it. I wish you the best and I hope things work out in a way that is fair and inclusive.
Just like in the states, Donald Trump has brought out the worst in so many people. His campaign is running on a pack of lies and the racism and hate is flourishing even more through it.
Kita says
As an American, based on the outcome of BREXIT, I am truly afraid of the upcoming results of our own general election. I hope you are able to continue to live and work comfortably. And the racism coming with all of this in the UK and the States is ridiculous.
Kitty Kat Love says
I am a U.S. citizen and I am watching this election very carefully from Europe. It’s trendy to use the ad hominem “racism” in the same sentence as the word “Trump” but I have yet to see anyone who does this offer any proof in this regard, and this includes Kita and Melissa.
Trump’s grassroots support is growing with blacks and Hispanics but this isn’t reported in the mainstream media or on left-wing websites. Why is it growing? Because of his stance on jobs. Powerful and articulate independent voices like Diamond & Silk, Dr of Commonsense (ET Williams), Some Black Guy, and Anthony Brian Logan (to name only a few – there are many others) must really get under the skin of the trendy liberal media elites who, in their contempt and condescension, believe Americans of color who refuse to fall into line with the pro-Obama narrative must surely lack the intelligence to think for themselves.
The racism displayed by these elites (most of whom are white) toward Americans of color who express an opposing view is both ugly and irritating, but I find tonic for this irritation by watching Youtube. My favourite clip in this regard is watching Kati Danforth from DePaul lift Kayla Johnson out of it at for calling her a white supremacist. I also like ET’s video “Why Black Conservatives are Hated by Liberals.”
Jason Nail says
That is very disturbing to hear. I am vigilant when it comes to keeping up with how my representatives are being perceived abroad. They are my face when it comes to global policy.
Heather says
This is a topic I had a lot of confusion about, but after reading this I have a better understanding of the impact Brexit is going to have. As an American, I have a lot of fear about our elections this year.
I keep reminding myself of a John Lennon quote “If everyone demanded peace instead of another television, then there would be peace.” I sure wish the world would stand together and demand peace!
Until that happens, I will be hiding my head in shame as my fellow Americans continue to prove how horrible we are becoming as a nation.
Barbara Paola says
Wow Sage. I’m just beginning to understand Brexit and just when I think I might have a sliver of what it all means, I read something like your post, which has really got me thinking. I think there are a lot of unanswered “Whats” for a lot of people, yourself and Robert included. I really had no opinion one way or the other -should I stay or should I go- but I do think now that there is a lot more impact that perhaps wasn’t truly thought out prior to the vote (and even the legislation if that’s what they call it in England….). I can understand the knee-jerk reaction of the voters who voted out (even if I disagree), but there is just so much more to the issue. I’m sorry it is affecting you and Robert this way. I just wish we (the world) could all just get along. :(
Kristy says
I have to admit that BREXIT is something that I’ve not really paid a whole lot of attention to. You’ve really helped me to understand it a bit more and the effect that it has on everyday people. Hoping that once the dust settles, you and Robert can find a new normal.
Mummy & the Mexicans (@ruthhilbrown) says
I also hope there’ll be another vote, or that they just won’t go ahead with Brexit, but who knows what will happen. I hope everything goes well for you. #weekendblogshare
Ruth Rosenthal says
A very tough time for so many. I truly hope that you and Robert will find a way through this situation. The xenophobia and racism on both sides of the pond has grown exponentially. We have to find a way to come to grips with the complexities of globalization without resorting to the type of demagoguery that Trump represents. (Not to mention electing officials who clearly are unfit for governing.